|On a cardboard windshield sun shade:
"Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in
-On a Magic 8 Ball: Not advised for use as a
home pregnancy test.
-On a roll of Life Savers: Not for use as a
-On a cup of McDonald's coffee: Allow to cool
before applying to groin area.
-On a refrigerator: Refrigerate after opening.
-On a disposable razor: Do not use this product
during an earthquake.
On an infant's bathtub: Do not throw baby out
with bath water.
-On a package of Fisherman's Friend(R) throat
lozenges: Not meant as a substitute for human
-On a handgun: Not recommended for use as a
-On pantyhose: Not to be used in the
commission of a felony.
-On a piano: Harmful or fatal if swallowed.
-On a can of Fix-a-Flat: Not to be used for
-On a Pentium chip: If this product exhibits
errors, the manufacturer will replace it for a $2-
shipping and a $3-handling charge, for a total of
-On work gloves: For best results, do not leave
at crime scene.
-On a palm sander: Not to be used to sand
-On a calendar: Use of term "Sunday" for
reference only. No meteorological warranties
express or implied.
-On Odor Eaters: Do not eat.
-On a blender: Not for use as an aquarium.
-On syrup of ipecac: Caution: May cause
-On a revolving door: Passenger compartments
for individual use only.
-On a microscope: Objects are smaller and less
alarming than they appear.
-On children's alphabet blocks: Letters may be
used to construct words, phrases and sentences
that may be deemed offensive.